Writing tips: Sentence clarity

Make your writing clear as a bell!

cogdogblog / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

In my work as your MALS Writing Consultant, I have come across a few writing errors that almost all writers seem to make at some point. I'd like to tackle those on the blog occasionally, and give you some tips about how to avoid them. Here, I bring you two errors that are major culprits in the muddling of otherwise good writing, and sure to get your papers marked "CLARIFY!"

• The dreaded "this"—The word "this" certainly has its place in the English language, but 

often its use leads to ambiguity in graduate level writing. Think about how you use "this" in speech. For example, at a restaurant you might say, "I'll have this sandwich," while pointing at a menu item so the waiter can see which sandwich you're talking about. If he can't see where you're pointing, "this" is a meaningless indicator. The same is true in writing. 

When you refer to an idea from a previous sentence with the word "this," you must tell your reader what "this" is. It's especially important to do so in graduate-level, interdisciplinary writing, because the concepts presented in the sentence to which "this" refers may be quite complex and encompass several ideas. 

If you write a sentence that says, "This is important because . . ." I may have no idea what is important. So, saying something as simple as "This area of interdisciplinary study is important because. . ." can help your reader say, "Oh yeah, she was just talking about a certain area of interdisciplinary study, and this sentence is going to tell me more about it." 

• Beware long, convoluted sentences—For interdisciplinary writers who are consulting multiple types of sources from multiple disciplines to come to new conclusions, it can be hard be brief. Sure, many of your sentences are going to be long and complex—complex sentences linking multiple concepts are a mark of advanced writing—but they must be coherent. 

Read sections of your paper aloud to help you identify overly complicated sentences (they'll usually sound that way when you hear them). Remember that it’s your job as a writer to distill the information from sources and your own conclusions into something your reader can understand. Sometimes you can fix really long sentences by simply breaking them into multiple sentences, but sometimes a long, confusing sentence is the result of really not understanding your source material. Check in with yourself to make sure you understand the concept, then try writing the simplest sentence possible ("Interdisciplinarity involves multiple disciplines."), and elaborate from there.

Your trusty writing consultant can help you identify these writing problems and give you more feedback on solving them—just contact me for a consultation!

Happy writing,

~Lahla

An actor's guide to writing; or, Don't flub your lines when there's an audience in the house

I love to perform in local community theatre productions. It can be a lot of work -- one director referred to community theatre as "a part-time job that costs you money," and that sums it up rather well -- but I find it to be energizing as well as an outlet. Theatre is good for giving my brain something fun and non-scholarly to do, a nice break from school and work.

But recently, of course, I managed to make a connection between acting and interdisciplinary writing. Isn't the interdisciplinary mind a wondrous thing? It so often finds the overlap, the interplay, the synchronicity between seemingly disparate fields -- whether you want it to or not.

Don't flub your lines!

The striking commonality between acting and writing lies in the importance of getting your lines right -- that is, of saying exactly what you mean, at exactly the right time. The tricky part is noticing when you have failed to do this and taking steps to correct the error. Your job, and mine, is to say exactly what we mean to say, clearly and unambiguously, so that everyone in the audience can understand it.

If I skip lines in performance, I may be leaving out information critical to understanding the play. This is a Very Bad Thing to do, since I cannot assume that everyone (or even anyone) in my audience is already familiar with the story. The same applies to academic writing: you cannot assume that all of your readers will be familiar with the background information that feeds into your paper.

via the wonderful Wondermark 

This holds true even for disciplinary writing, although to a lesser extent. The strongest academic writing in all fields is that which can stand alone, and remains comprehensible to readers from outside the discipline.

Words, words, words

In a similar vein, use of the wrong word may change the entire meaning of a sentence, a scene, the whole play. This past October, during a performance of an Agatha Christie murder mystery, I asked another character, "Is it so wrong to kill the person who has taken everything you had in the world from you?" The other character, a canon (or English clergyman), is meant to reply "Yes!" In one particular performance, he instead bellowed "NO!" In other words, with one tiny slip of the tongue, a priest gave me permission to commit murder. While that defense may not hold up in court, it put an interesting spin on the story. He didn't even realize he had gotten it backward until I teased him about it later. After all, he knew what he intended to say.


This is a common problem for writers in the age of spellcheckers and autocorrection. If you make a typo, your computer's autocorrect function may correct it for you -- but it may not "correct" it to the word you intended to use. If you make a typo that is still a word, but not the word you intended, or if you make an incorrect word choice, your computer will not catch it for you. In all likelihood, when you read back over what you've written, you will read not what is actually on the page, but what you meant to put on the page.

This is where writing benefits from either a second set of eyes, or from resting for a while before you proofread. If your deadline is looming and you can't manage either of these techniques, be sure to proofread as slowly and carefully as you possibly can, and to look up any and all words you're not absolutely certain you are using correctly. This will go a very long way toward ensuring that you have, in fact, said what you meant to say, and not given someone the thumbs up on murder. . . or adultery, as in one famous Biblical misprint. (Click through the link for some excellent advice on avoiding similarly embarrassing typos.)

Also check for spelling.
via Mandatory.

Keep an eye out for missing words, too.
Assuming you still have eyes,.

It's all in the delivery: punctuation and logical stops

Always consider the impact of punctuation on meaning as well as on style and flow. Punctuation was, in fact, initially invented as a means of indicating when orators (and, later, actors) should pause for breath. When actors ignore the supplied punctuation, it makes a mess of meaning. This is a common problem among students and new actors first encountering William Shakespeare's iambic pentameter verse: many people inherently feel that they should pause at the end of each line, regardless of punctation, or lack thereof.

via Motifake

My current play, a comedy called "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)," contains a joke about that very issue. One of the actors, reading biographical notes on the author, pauses between pages at an amusingly awkward point, describing Shakespeare's mother as "Mary Arden, daughter of a Roman. (next card) Catholic member of the landed gentry."

Thankfully, this particular comma fail was a hoax.
via Museum of Hoaxes.

Punctuation is even more powerful in writing. A missing or misplaced comma can change the meaning of an entire sentence.

The best way to check your own work for appropriate punctuation is to read it aloud. Where you naturally pause, there should be appropriate punctuation (usually a comma or period) to indicate the pause. If you don't naturally pause while reading the sentence aloud, you don't need a comma.

Don't skip the rehearsal process

No theatrical production goes public without an extensive rehearsal process, which generally includes a good bit of revision and adjustment. The final rehearsal, when we have everything just about right, is a preview performance. The audience for this show is comprised of family and friends, who serve as a sounding board of sorts -- the actors' version of proofreaders. They can offer feedback on the performance, pointing out any serious problems we may have overlooked. I strongly recommend that writers seek out a preview audience for their work before submitting it as well. For MALS students, please do consider making use of your friendly neighborhood writing consultant. I also strongly encourage the formation of writing groups, which can be a great resource for peer review.

And if writing groups fail you, look into acting groups. What was that I said about "energizing"? 

I hope these reminders serve you well as you head into the home stretch of the semester. Did I commit the very sins of which I speak in this post? If so, do point them out to me, and mock at will. And if you need a break and a good, hearty laugh this weekend, come on out to the theatre!

Cheers,
Emily