Pesky Passivity

"Mistakes were made."

How often have we heard this statement from politicians, celebrities, and business figures? Did you not find these admissions of wrongdoing at least slightly irritating?  If so, have you stopped to think why that may be? The statement, "mistakes were made," gives the impression that an apology is hiding in there, but we can't really figure out who's owning up to these "mistakes."  Who made the mistakes? Gnomes? Probably not. Mistakes were made by someone. Someone made mistakes.

The above is one example of the often problematic passive voice. At its worst, we use the passive voice, either consciously or inadvertently, to avoid assigning or taking responsibility for an action. More often, however, especially in academic writing, we find ourselves using passive voice in the following situations:

• We need to avoid using first person: 

"The ways Americans use coffee to build a sense of community will be discussed."

As you well know, the academic world generally frowns upon the use of first person in research papers, particularly in history and other social science fields. As a result, that pesky passive voice creeps in when you are communicating your actions.

•  We're not really sure what or whom is the subject of the sentence: 

"It has been shown that coffee is actually healthy to drink."

This sentence is sneaky - we might not notice the passive voice because the "meat" of the sentence - the part that tells us coffee is healthy - distracts us from the passive voice. This use of passive is problematic not only because the subject is vague but also because it refers to evidence. If you do not clearly identify the source of that evidence, you diminish the validity of your argument.

• We're stating generalizations:

"Much has been done to study caffeine's effects on children."

Since it's not practical to list every single study about the effect of caffeine on children, we'll sometimes use passive voice in an attempt to generalize the subject of the sentence.

So, how can you avoid passive voice but still get your point across? First, think critically about what you need to say. Then, start rearranging the words.

Solving the First Person Problem:

"The ways Americans use coffee to build a sense of community will be discussed."

Into this: "Americans use coffee to build a sense of community." We might follow up by listing the ways in which they do so. We've avoided both first person AND passive voice. Remember, your reader knows you are the voice behind the paper - you don't need to announce it in writing.

Identifying the Specific Subject: 

"It has been shown that coffee is actually healthy to drink."

Identify who conducted the research; that person(s) should be your subject: "A 2005 study by Dr. Jane Smith at Hawaii State College shows that coffee actually has health benefits." or "Smith, in her 2005 study, states that coffee is a healthy part of one's diet."

What if you cannot identify the specific studies? Well, you probably shouldn't include in your paper evidence that you cannot document specifically.

Getting Over Generalizations: 

"Much has been done to study the effects of caffeine on children."

In this situation, you need to be creative with your writing and think in terms of more than one sentence. Since you cannot possibly list all of the caffeine studies, you need to be selective and thoughtful in your phrasing. For example: 

"Numerous studies indicate caffeine's effects on children. For example, in his 1998 study at the University of the World, Dr. Schmoo found that children whose caffeine intake equals that of two cups of coffee actually performed better on standardized math tests than those who avoided caffeine altogether."

As you see, we might need a paragraph to stay in the active voice. While active voice often results in more concise language, in this case using active voice compels us to provide an example that strengthens our argument. In short, the active voice prevents us from over-generalizing our writing.

As you complete your seminar papers this week, devote a proofreading session to identifying passive voice in your draft and converting instances of passive into active. Your paper will be clearer, more concise, and more convincing. Here are some more resources on passive voice that might help you as a you work:
Purdue OWL's Handout  - This short handout lists examples of passive verb tenses. Continue to the next handout to see examples of active voice.
Passive Voice from The Writing Center at UNC-Chapel Hill - this is an excellent and thorough resource that defines the passive voice, clears confusion about the passive voice, explains why passive voice is often unsuitable for academic papers, and offers plenty of good examples.

Thank you for reading, and happy writing!